Why don’t we talk about things that really matter?

When people ask us a seemingly simple question, “How are you?”, we instinctively reply with templates like “I’m fine” or “I’m okay” – which is most likely the answer they expect from us too.

Surely, we may not be prepared to suddenly pour out emotions and end up having a very deep and meaningful conversation about our existential crisis or anxieties. Of course, engaging in heartfelt conversations also depends on who is asking or if it’s the right place at the right time.

In a  world where social media only present to us a perfectly curated life, how seldom do we see friends, acquaintances or random people post about their depression or loneliness – and when they do, how often do we sincerely reach out to them? 

So many questions…

How should we reach out to them though? Is it enough to just throw in some words of encouragement that are really rather cliche, if not meaningless?

Why won’t we talk about broken promises, heartaches, failures, or unfulfilled dreams? 

Are we setting up our defenses when we refuse to show how vulnerable we are – even at times when we are the weakest? Or are we shielding our loved ones from the truth because we know that they are fighting their own battles too?

Are we able to handle a truly honest conversation?

When was the last time we talked about our deepest fears or showed our raw emotions to the people who are supposed to be closest to us – our parents or siblings, our partner, our family. Why is it oftentimes, we would rather divulge our truest self to a best friend if we’re lucky to have one or even to strangers. 

Is it because we don’t get the response we are hoping for when we finally bare our souls and we end up just being disappointed and feel even worse? 

There are times when I hesitate to ask how a person is feeling, because I may not know how to react when they actually tell the truth. But if they do finally open their hearts, I may not have the right words to say… but I would be more than willing to listen. 

But I may still respond with “I’m okay,” because that’s just easier to say, or perhaps because I’m just not ready yet or maybe, you are not ready yet to hear the truth.

But I would always be glad that you cared to ask.

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