Turning 40 hits differently than turning 30 as you realize that you are fast approaching middle age. This is perhaps when you start looking back and thinking about everything you have done since then. It is not uncommon for people in their 40s to start listing their accomplishments, re-evaluating their bucket list, and checking if they achieved even half of the things they dreamed about in their 30s.
In some cases, people are not happy with their assessments and feel like they have not achieved anything in life – but that’s not the case! Negativity bias is real, and when people ruminate about their life, they tend to focus only on the negative things. Do not do this to yourself. Instead, there are ways you can help shift your mindset and give your 40s a second wind.
Stop comparing your life to others.
Social media has made it incredibly easy to see each other’s progress through life – even those we only know remotely. This increases the “comparison” scale because now, you’re comparing yourself with all the people who happen to come up in your thread.
This is a bad habit because everyone moves on their own timeline. Remember that social media is also an echo chamber – and people almost always post achievements. So feeling as if “everyone else is achieving things” is not just bad – it’s completely false. What you see online isn’t the whole truth – and comparing yourself to them is an exercise in futility. Instead, give yourself a social media break and focus on things outside of it. While being happy for your friends is perfectly fine, this should not dictate how you judge your achievements.
Look at yourself holistically.
Using a single criterion to judge your accomplishment is a bad way to look at things. Our lives are composed of numerous elements – family, work, friends, hobbies, habits, animals, vacations, etc. They are bound to be different as we approach priorities differently. Instead, assign value to your life as a whole. Are you happy? Are you a good parent or partner? Do you wake up each day with a sense of purpose? Do you accomplish what you have set out to do for the day?
These things add up, and the sum of these parts should be your driving factor. While some aspects of your life could use some improvement – there are other aspects that you’re happy with – those matter.
Be kind to yourself and reflect.
Make self-reflection a habit – allowing yourself to constantly go inward and analyze your thoughts, motivations, and action plans. Having a journal or a diary can go a long way in helping you sort out your feelings and have a better grasp of any conflicting ideas. With the right mindset – you will find that many negative personal views become insignificant when viewed through objective lenses.
