My husband and I started as friends and I fell for him through our conversations. Budding relationships can be ecstatic and over the moon. I remember, we used to talk until past midnight and enjoy long walks and lengthy conversations without minding time.
The early stages of dating give the couple a surge of emotions and the get-to-know stage seem never-ending. I used to feel excited whenever we agreed to meet and I couldn’t wait for us to get married. The night of our wedding and the day we moved in together, the delight was inexplicable – there was just so much to talk and share about!
But it changes….
While time wraps up an electric relationship, it also spills out a different ambiance of once high-spirited sweethearts. I am not saying that we are not excited anymore. What I’m saying is we cannot get excited every day. Later on, the new becomes familiar and the excitement becomes common. The intensity is not always high – talks are sometimes short and the responses can sometimes become quick. With this notion of familiarity, we, at some point, assume that we know our partners very well.
But the truth is, we don’t and we won’t.
Just as you think you know every detail about your partner, here are ten topics that you can bring up and chat with:
- Daily grind
What happened at work? How did you feel today? How did an errand go? It is not just about transparency. It is also about seeing how your partner reacts to certain situations, what makes him mad or happy, what keeps him busy, and all sorts. - Dreams
It is free! It is never too late to revive dead bones. Dreaming is a positive exercise and sharing them with someone you love is even more motivating. Whether dreams will happen or not, expressing them still bring goodness overall. - Goals
Talk about your daily, weekly, monthly, or yearly goals. They may be spiritual, physical, financial – discuss the ways on how you will attain them. What could be the challenges? What could be the sacrifices you both have to make and the things you have to work on? In the wheel of life, the goals are your destinations. The journey may be tough but it can be bearable and possible when done together. - Financial perspective and conditions
On the third month after our wedding, I bought a baking set worth AED 200 using my credit card. My husband got furious when he knew about it. Just when I thought I knew about his culture of savings, I did not fully understand his perspective until that day. Sit and talk about how you spend since childhood, site instances, and understand what led to the current character. Layout your expenses and discuss how much you should spend. You are a team now and no team wants to go bankrupt. - Faith
In as much as we practice different religions, it is still very important for couples to discuss the core of their being. What do you believe in? What are your principles? What is the essence behind your denomination? Dig deep spiritually and emotionally. It is not about who wins or who is better but it is always about mutual respect of one’s belief and living together in harmony and in peace. - Parenting concerns
How were you raised? How do you want to raise your children? Do you have an unresolved past that may affect you as a parent? How much will the school fees be? Where should you live? Parenting is a huge role and we don’t just procreate without proper planning and preparation. We raise, we rear, we provide; thus, serious discussions about it are a must. - Family issues
How were you when you were little? Share how your parents brought you up. Share details about immediate and extended families. Set clear boundaries on who and what to share. Spend time talking with your in-laws, your relatives, and even your friends who are families. You won’t believe it, there is so much to know! - Fears, frustrations, anxieties, weaknesses, feelings
Our partners or spouses are ideally the most trusted people we have and it is them who we seek to share our innermost secrets with. Not only do we reveal our strengths but we also disclose the bones inside our closets. We expose our sicknesses, incapabilities, horrors, worries, and all other feelings that may cut us short. Your partner is your complement and when properly discussed and understood, he or she may alleviate or even help you overcome them. - Memories
Relive kind and precious memories – may they be during your childhood or even how you guys first met. Talk about why you like such and why you don’t. Awaken love and create more memories to share. - Learnings
In long-time relationships and in marriage, some petty things can be magnified. The once admirable trait may become an utterly most annoying one. After the conflicts and misunderstanding, sit in peace and discuss with an open mind. Learn how it happened and how it can be avoided. Instead of blaming and pointing fingers, unite and talk about solutions so it will not happen again. Likewise, share your small victories and valuable insights from mistakes. Acknowledge and encourage for you never know how much confidence you are adding to a vulnerable soul.
People fail, win, and grow. People change.
May we witness and deeply know our partners in every step so we can understand and love them even more along the way. Start talking. Keep on listening. And never stop.
Photo from unsplash
